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                    沖孩子發火,破壞孩子靈性;不發火憋得自己難受,怎么辦呢?

                    作者: 17know 分類: 早教 發布時間: 2018-12-11
                      父母對孩子的教育,首先在于身教!沖子女發脾氣,會壞了孩子的性靈,讓他愈加愚笨福薄,還會讓他得頭痛病等各種病。不過,如果只是偶爾發一次火,還是有些補救措施,但僅僅是偶爾。
                     
                      對孩子發火破壞孩子靈性
                     
                      父母親注意不要對小孩發脾氣,生氣上火。不要用脾氣管孩子,你一用脾氣管孩子,你的氣火就跑到孩子的頭上,壞了孩子的性靈,在孩子的頭上加了一個緊箍咒,生一次氣上一回火,就加一回緊箍咒。
                     
                      日積月累,緊箍咒越來越多,虛的緊箍咒就變成了孩子實實在在的頭痛病,做父母的年齡大了就會下肢腿腳痛,既害了孩子又害了自己,孩子性靈被牢牢的禁錮了損壞了,智慧無所從來,越想讓他學習好,他的學習會越來越不好,與家長的期望越來越背道而馳。
                     
                      這都是用脾氣管孩子的結果。君子反求諸己,要改正自己,改自己的性格,你變孩子就變。“兒孫不用管,全憑德性感”這是有深刻道理的,要改變我們生氣發火的脾氣秉性。對孩子要采取“率性”的教育辦法,率是統帥,把孩子的性往好的方面引導,要經常找孩子的優點肯定孩子閃光的地方,多鼓勵孩子。在表揚的同時,勸化引導孩子改正不良的習慣嗜好。幫助孩子打開性靈的寶藏。
                     
                      煩惱脾氣是一種陰性病毒,害人又害己。特別是親人之間,互相非常珍惜對方、在乎對方,用心較重。越是這樣煩惱脾氣對對方的傷害越重。親人之間生活在一起,受彼此煩惱脾氣的傷害幾率非常高,病就是這樣慢慢累積,從虛變實,由輕變重。
                     
                      怨傷脾;恨傷心;惱傷肺;怒傷肝;煩傷腎。大家應該警醒,不要看輕日常的小小煩惱脾氣。千里之堤,潰于蟻穴。人到中年一般處于亞健康狀態大部分原因主要是因為煩惱不健康的性情所致。
                     
                      而父母粗暴,子女就也會沖父母發脾氣,這下子女因為抵觸頂撞親長,自己的各種福也都沒有了。
                     
                      沖孩子發脾氣會讓孩子失掉靈性
                     
                      【1】如果孩子喜歡譴責別人,是因為平時我們對他批評過多。
                     
                      【2】如果孩子凡事喜歡抱怨,是因為我們總是挑剔他。
                     
                      【3】如果孩子喜歡對抗,是因為我們對他有敵意和強制。
                     
                      【4】如果孩子不夠善良,是因為我們是一個缺少同情心的人。
                     
                      【5】如果孩子膽小、羞怯,是因為他經常被嘲弄、辱罵。
                     
                      【6】如果孩子不跟我們說心里話,是因為我們捉孩子的話兒把,翻老賬。
                     
                      【7】如果孩子不辨是非,是因為我們專制,沒有給孩子自主和思考的機會。
                     
                      【8】如果孩子很自卑,是因為我們對孩子總是失望,不能耐心鼓勵。
                     
                      【9】如果孩子嫉妒、敏感、怕受傷,是因為我們的家庭沒有寬容和溫暖。
                     
                      【10】如果孩子不喜歡自己,是因為我們對他缺少接納、認可和尊重。
                     
                      【11】如果孩子不上進,不努力,是因為我們對他要求過高他做不到。
                     
                      【12】如果孩子很自私,是因為我們對他太溺愛,要什么給什么。
                     
                      【13】如果孩子不懂父母的苦心,是因為我們沒有教會他理解別人。
                     
                      【14】如果孩子退縮、逃避,是因為遭到了我們的輕視和打擊。
                     
                      【15】如果孩子懶惰和依賴,是因為我們替孩子做的事和決定太多了。
                     
                      偶爾發脾氣應對有妙招
                     
                      有時候孩子太調皮,實在不能不讓人生氣發火,火總是憋著也不是辦法啊。于是發火不能,不發火也不能,內心糾結得很!
                     
                      不過,父母是人,不是神,所以會有喜怒哀樂各種情緒,讓我們永遠不發火,永遠溫和且堅定,永遠冷靜不失態?那做一場父母,是不是也太委屈了?!
                     
                      其實,育兒方法永遠都是供我們自我提升作參考用的,而非絕對化的條條框框。說白了,父母是有權憤怒的。正如一位老師所說,“憤怒與快樂對人的作用是同等重要的。”
                     
                      如果你忍不住對孩子發火,請這樣做吧
                     
                      【1】首先,接受生氣的事實,不必內疚,要讓孩子知道你對他此時此刻的情緒反應是什么。
                     
                      【2】其次,客觀地表達出自己的感覺,你對孩子的擔心。比如說:我生氣是因為我擔心你;而不是說:你這個孩子怎么總是這么讓人頭疼!不要翻舊賬、給孩子貼標簽,或是口無遮攔地指責。
                     
                      【3】最后,可以直接告訴孩子,我們的期待是什么,孩子如何做會更好。這樣可以明確給孩子指出一條可以避免“闖禍”,或者能夠解決問題的方法。
                     
                      【4】若上述3步你發火當下沒有做到,請在意識到不妥、感到內疚的當下(最好在同一天內),去跟孩子進行情感交流,包括告知孩子你發火的原因(你愛他,只是不喜歡他的錯誤行為);為你的情緒失控說對不起(只是為情緒失控說對不起,不能為此想要彌補孩子,而放棄之前自己在堅持的原則,否則功虧一潰),最后跟孩子再次討論引起你發火的事情本身,包括你對孩子的期待,并就某件事定個規則,做個約定等。
                     
                      【5】跟孩子說對不起不丟人,它是愈合孩子內心傷口的良藥。當然,說對不起之后,等孩子情緒穩定了,還要記得冷靜客觀地和孩子一起分析問題,讓他知道下一次應該怎么做。
                     
                      【6】最后,沖孩子發火的次數不能過于頻繁,沒完沒了。請至少只在孩子犯了比較嚴重的錯誤時責罵,而不是永遠嘮叨、對孩子表現出不耐煩。
                     
                      能夠控制情緒是人成熟的標志,是人一生學習的課題。父母在幫助孩子控制情緒的過程中,自己也同樣成長了,這是多好的機會!所以,不要內疚,要成長!

                    如果覺得我的文章對您有用,請隨意打賞。您的支持將鼓勵我繼續創作!

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